


Rare Kindness

by prozacplease



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bathing/Washing, Burns, Caretaking, Crying, Gen, Headaches & Migraines, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medical Trauma, Needles, Self-Harm, Serious Injuries, Snoke Being a Dick, Vomiting, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 17:55:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6668545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prozacplease/pseuds/prozacplease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo is a human disaster and needs Hux to take care of him after he's been punished by Snoke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rare Kindness

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to [mollynoble](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mollynoble/profile) for being my beta!

Millicent comes running out of the bathroom when Hux opens the door to his quarters. The orange tabby cat is bounding towards him, ears laid back, as if something is wrong. Hux doesn’t think much of it. Millicent often tears through his chambers at odd hours, seemingly for no reason at all.

“Hello, little darling,” Hux says.

Millicent meows, turning to rub against one of Hux’s tall, shiny boots. He is reaching down to pet her when he’s startled by a loud retching sound. Millicent meows again, as if to tell Hux that she tried to warn him. The retching is punctuated by a particularly pitiful groan. Hux recognizes Kylo’s low voice, which is why he’s annoyed rather than reaching for a weapon.

Hux’s fine features are twisted in disgust. Millicent follows him as he strides to the bathroom. Kylo is on the floor and bent in front of the toilet, elbows resting on the seat. Hux wants to kick him for some reason.

“What are you doing in here?” he asks, not bothering to hide the disdain in his voice.

Millicent creeps around Hux’s legs, sniffing at the floor. Kylo doesn’t lift his head. His whole body convulses with another painful-sounding heave that brings up more vomit. If Hux is being honest, he’s a bit surprised to see Kylo throwing up. The man never seems to eat.

Kylo coughs and spits into the water, breathing raggedly. “My head hurts so badly… My vision is doubled… I… I wasn’t thinking clearly,” he manages to say.

“A migraine?” Hux asks.

Hux is concerned only because Kylo never takes ill. Kylo’s crudely made lightsaber and battered helmet are on the floor, standing out against all the immaculate surfaces that make up Hux’s bathroom. Hux guesses that the wad of ratty black fabric that is also discarded on the floor is Kylo’s cowl. It appears to be stained with drying vomit.

Kylo’s normally smooth voice is broken and thick with emotion. “Supreme Leader… He punished me…” he finally says. “He made me feel like this.”

As if sickened by the mere mention of it, Kylo vomits again. Pieces of his dark, unruly hair are sticking to the sides of his sweaty face. Still more are strands close to Kylo’s mouth. Hux can’t stand it. He kneels next to Kylo on the floor and gathers his hair back from his face. Hux can’t contain the noise of disgust he makes when he touches his hair. Nearly all of the lowest hanging sections are stiff and damp with puke.

“You’re pathetic,” Hux sighs.

Kylo makes a sound that is halfway between a cough and a sob. Hux realizes that his comments are unnecessary. Kylo already knows he’s cutting an unflatteringly pathetic figure.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo blurts out. It’s obvious that he’s crying now. “I didn’t know what to do. I’m in so much pain, Hux.”

Hux doesn’t pretend to understand any of the processes that surround Kylo’s training with Supreme Leader Snoke. He’s normally just irritated that Kylo practicing his magic tricks is more important to Snoke than Hux’s very real, very pressing business with the First Order. Kylo holds within him raw, unrefined power that must be harnessed. His training benefits their cause, but Hux struggles to appreciate it. Despite all this, Hux knows something serious has happened.

This is not the first time that Snoke has punished his apprentice in such a way. He controls Kylo with fear and pain, tormenting him whenever he is dissatisfied. Yet Kylo is obsessed with pleasing him, and not just to avoid torture. Snoke’s most gifted acolyte is fanatical in his devotion.

“It’s all right,” Hux says, demeanor softened by pity. “No need to apologize.”

All irritations aside, he hates seeing Kylo in pain. He would be hauling Kylo to his feet and taking him to the infirmary, but the man is liable to destroy things—equipment, droids, even people. Hux seems to be the only one who Kylo is unwilling to harm.

The vomiting is transitioning to dry heaves, but Kylo continues to cry. Hux rubs Kylo’s back with his free hand and finds that his thick layers of clothing are damp with sweat. He still hasn’t figured out if Kylo is throwing up because his head hurts so badly or if it’s simply from emotional distress. Maybe both.

“When this passes, I’m going to draw you a bath,” Hux says.

Normally Kylo is quite agreeable to the rare kindnesses that Hux shows him, but he starts protesting immediately. “No,” he says, coughing as he tries to get his legs under him. “I just need to lie down in the dark until the pain stops.”

“You’re a mess. You’re not lying down anywhere until you’ve been cleaned up,” Hux says. He leaves Kylo’s side only to wet a washcloth with warm water. “You’re drenched in sweat and you have vomit in your hair.”

Kylo grimaces as Hux starts wiping at his face with the washcloth. Hux cleans Kylo’s chin and the corners of his mouth with the roughness of a mother cleaning up a grimy child. He knows that Kylo is only compliant because he’s so ill.

“I can give you medication for the pain. You don’t have to suffer,” Hux continues.

“I do. It’s my punishment,” Kylo says.

“You’ve been punished enough.” Hux doesn’t know the circumstances surrounding Kylo’s distress, but he’s certain of this.

“I want to lie down,” Kylo insists. He makes a pained noise as he finally gets his legs under him and starts to push himself into a standing position.

Hux is in no position to catch Kylo if he falls, but he still puts a supportive arm around his back. Kylo is several inches taller than Hux, and his thin frame is bound with lean muscle. If he hits the floor, he’s likely to take Hux with him. Kylo finally manages to stand, but it looks like it hurts.

“What’s wrong with your legs?” Hux asks.

“Nothing,” Kylo grits out.

“You’re moving like they hurt,” Hux says, starting to take off Kylo’s clothes.

Hux feels a very distinct shove from Kylo, but it’s not a physical one. It’s hard for a person like Hux—who isn’t the least bit force sensitive—to describe. It’s a denial that Kylo gives with his mind. No words, no outward actions. But Hux feels like he’s being pushed away emotionally. Kylo is shutting him out.

“You stop that nonsense,” Hux chides. “You’re going to have to actually push me if you want me to stop.”

Kylo looks tempted. But his dark brown eyes are glazed and his tearstreaked face is paler than normal. Hux can tell that he’s in an incredible amount of pain, and it’s not just from his head.

Hux continues on as he undoes Kylo’s wide belt and then tugs his outer robe over his head. “You have to let me take care of you. I think you came here for a reason, whether you consciously knew it or not.”

“Surprisingly, you seem to calm me,” Kylo says.

Hux smiles at this. The two are at odds most of the time, but Kylo does seem to seek his company. Hux helps Kylo out of his midcoat and then unzips the pleated tunic that he wears underneath that. The pilled, tatty layers are damp. Kylo tenses when Hux reaches for the fly of his pants. Kylo says nothing, but Hux can hear Kylo’s thoughts edging into his head. _Please be gentle. Please go slow. I’m sorry._

Hux’s heart skips a beat. It’s always unnerving to have the Jedi Killer inside his head, but this has him very worried. Hux undoes Kylo’s fly and starts to pull his pants down. Kylo makes a pained noise. It feels like the fabric is sticking to the front of his thighs. Hux is not easily rattled, but he gasps when he sees Kylo’s legs. His thighs are striped with ugly wounds, red and raw and weeping clear fluid. The edges are blistered in a few spots and the skin is broken. Hux doesn’t want to believe what his mind is supplying him, but it’s obvious that the injuries were caused by the heat of a lightsaber.

“Did you do this to yourself?” Hux asks, sharper than he intends.

Kylo’s weak chin wobbles as struggles to answer. “Supreme Leader punished me, but it wasn’t enough. I tried to distract myself from the pain I already felt,” he says.

“By heaping more on top?”

Hux knows that he’s not helping. Tears are streaming down Kylo’s face and he looks like he’s trying to hold in a sob. Once again softened by the pitifulness of it all, Hux quickly finishes undressing Kylo and then guides him back toward the edge of the bathtub.

“Sit down so I can tend to you properly,” Hux says.

Kylo needs help moving, but the wide edge of the tub provides a safe place to sit. He gives a short cry of pain as Hux assists him.

“It’s all right,” Hux says as he pulls his medkit from under the sink. “I know you’re in an incredible amount of pain.”

“I am,” Kylo says, starting to cry freely again.

Hux wants nothing more than to soothe Kylo. Dab at his tears, pet his hair, rub his back. But instead he’s responsible for administering first aid. When Hux turns back to Kylo, he’s once again confronted with the seriousness of his injuries.

“This is serious, Ren. Most people would need time in a bacta tank for injuries like this,” he says.

Kylo shakes his head. “No, no… I can’t…”

“I will get you to the infirmary. You’re going to scar very badly if you don’t.”

“I don’t care. I deserve the reminder of my failings.”

Hux sighs. Kylo’s constant self-loathing gets old, especially in situations like this. But there’s no point in scolding him for it and making him feel worse than he already does.

“I can dress the wounds with the supplies I have here, if you want,” he says.

Kylo nods, sniffling. “Please.”

From the medkit, Hux pulls out several packets of bacta bandages. They’re infused with the same syrupy slime that fills the tank Kylo should be immersed in right now. The substance disinfects, controls pain, and accelerates the healing process. Hux peels open the packages and gently places the large, gelatinous patches over Kylo’s thighs. He growls in pain, bracing himself with his hands on the edge of the bathtub.

“I know it stings at first,” Hux says. “It will go away.”

Kylo is shaking by the time Hux is finished placing the bacta bandages. Hux wonders if he’s slipping into some kind of shock.

“I’m going to cover these with some waterproof wrappings so the bacta won’t leak everywhere. Then I’ll give you something for the pain,” he says.

Kylo scrubs at his teary eyes. “You’re far too kind to me, General.”

“You obviously need someone to look after you,” Hux says with a crooked smile. “And I don’t mind being that person.”

Hux reaches behind Kylo to crank on the faucet. While the bathtub is filling, he gives Kylo pain medication. He worries that Kylo will throw up pills, so he opts for an autoinjector. The small plastic device contains a pre-measured dose of medication, delivered through a needle. It’s a large dose of a strong drug, but Hux reasons that Kylo is in enough pain to warrant it.

“Don’t put it in my leg,” Kylo suddenly says.

Hux is vexed by the way Kylo can always sense his intentions. It’s unsettling. “This has to go in a large muscle,” he says. “You want it in your stomach instead?”

Kylo shakes his head and remains silent as Hux swabs the side of his thigh with a disinfectant wipe. The area is well away from his burns, but it still won’t be pleasant.

Hux pulls the cap off the autoinjector and holds it against Kylo’s skin. “Don’t tense up. Just a pinch,” he says.

Kylo yelps as the large needle penetrates deep into his thigh muscle. The autoinjector beeps when all the medication has been administered and the needle springs back inside.

“That was more than a pinch,” Kylo says, voice edged with anger.

“I’m sorry.” Hux moves away for a moment to discard the device. “I promise you’ll feel better in a few minutes. The medicine will start working and I’m going to give you a nice, hot bath.”

Kylo starts crying again and Hux has no idea why. Instead of ask questions and possibly cause more upset, Hux focuses on getting the taller man into the bathtub. It’s no easy task, but Hux manages to help graceless, injured Kylo sit down in the water without getting pulled in himself. Kylo clings to him as he lowers himself, hissing in pain. The bandages will protect his wounds from the bathwater, but moving hurts.

Rather than leaning back against the molded edge of the tub, he sits with his back hunched and legs in an awkward tangle in front of him. Hux wets a washcloth and moves it up and down Kylo’s back, running warm water over his body in an effort to soothe him. Still, Kylo cries. His broad shoulders shake with the little sobs he tries to suppress. Hux thinks that he should be embarrassed by a grown man weeping freely like this, but he feels only pity and a small amount of exasperation when it comes to Kylo.

“Ren, Ren… Try to calm yourself,” Hux says. “Maybe I should have given you something for your nerves too.”

It takes several minutes for Kylo settle down, but he finally does. Hux supposes the pain medication helps with that. Kylo is silent, body loose and languid, as Hux wets his hair and washes the vomit out of it. Hux has to work at the crusted pieces of hair to cleanse them. When he’s finished, he guides Kylo to lean back and then stands up.

“How do you feel?” he asks.

Kylo’s eyes are ringed with red and glassy from the drugs thrumming through his system. He’s still out of it, but in a different way now. “I think I’ll make it,” he says flatly.

“I want you to rest here for a few minutes. Don’t drown yourself,” Hux says.

He leaves the bathroom to complete the tasks that he arrived to do in the first place. In the kitchen, he pulls open a can of cat food and places it in Millicent’s bowl, then eats his own lunch while leaning against the countertop. Even when his routine isn’t interrupted by Kylo breaking into his quarters, he doesn’t have time for a sitdown meal in the middle of the day.

When he’s done eating, he goes to his bedroom and finds some clothing for Kylo. Hux has accrued a small wardrobe’s worth of Kylo’s clothing in the time that they’ve been together. Kylo is somehow always leaving pieces of clothing behind, and Hux never remembers to give back the items after he’s had them washed.

Hux chooses a slouchy gray tunic and the loosest pair of leggings he has available to him. He’s certain that Kylo doesn’t want to pull a garment over his injured thighs, but the base is too cold to walk around half-naked.

Kylo is right where Hux left him. He’s sunk lower into the water, chin just below the surface. His eyes are closed and he looks like he might be sleeping.

“Let’s get you to bed,” Hux says, setting the clothes aside and getting out a towel.

Kylo makes a noise of protest. He doesn’t open his eyes and he doesn’t move.

“Come now, you didn’t want a bath and now you won’t come out?”

Kylo’s eyes slide open. They’re bleary and unfocused. Hux wonders if the drugs have caused an unusual sort of peace in Kylo’s mind. He’s told Hux that his thoughts are always racing, never at rest. They don’t have much in common, but Hux can at least relate to that. Kylo moves like his body is extremely heavy. Hux slings the towel over his shoulder and helps Kylo get up and maneuver over the edge of the tub. He stands there, swaying like a sapling in the breeze as Hux dries him. Kylo hasn’t said anything, but Hux feels like he’s not entirely present.

“Did I give you too much medication?” Hux asks.

“No, I feel good,” Kylo says distantly.

Hux gives a little laugh. He’s never heard Kylo say anything like that. He decides that Kylo must feel strange without any pain nagging at him. He looks downright _serene_ right now, almost like a different person completely. Kylo’s features are relaxed and there is no tension making his muscles tight. He helps Hux tug the tunic over his head and is able to pull on the leggings by himself.

“All right, I want you to lie down and rest,” Hux says, guiding Kylo to his bedroom.

They have to go slow. Despite the lack of pain, Kylo is having trouble walking on his injured legs. Hux isn’t entirely convinced that Kylo doesn’t need some time in a bacta tank. He tries to lie on his front when Hux pulls down the covers on his bed. Hux wrestles him onto his back.

“You’d better be in bed and asleep when I come back,” Hux says, pulling the blankets to Kylo’s chin.

Kylo looks confused. “You’re not staying?”

“No, it’s the middle of the day. I have work to do yet.”

“Don’t leave me alone,” Kylo says, voice soft and pleading.

Hux is always amazed at how Kylo can sometimes sound like such a scared little boy. “I’m not. Millicent will be with you,” he says. “She’ll sleep right on your chest once she settles in.”

“Hux…”

“You don’t need me to watch you sleep. If you need me, you know how to get hold of me,” Hux says.

Kylo seems genuinely distressed by this. Hux has already been away for too long, so he sees no harm in sitting down on the edge of the bed for a few minutes. He slides a hand under the covers and starts rubbing Kylo’s chest.

“Sleep now, Ren. I know you’re tired,” he says, sliding his hand down to rub circles against Kylo’s belly. “You went through something traumatic and you need to sleep for a while. Let your brain and body rest.”

Kylo’s eyelids are heavy and he blinks slowly. “Thank you for taking care of me,” he says.

“Such manners… You’re welcome, darling,” Hux says. He is genuinely surprised that Kylo has thanked him.

“I mean it,” Kylo insists. “You didn’t have to do that.”

It’s obvious that the drugs and fatigue are taking over now. Kylo is nearly asleep, but Hux continues to rub his belly in what he hopes are soothing circles.

“You’re right, I didn’t,” Hux says, smoothing back Kylo’s damp hair. He leans forward and places a kiss on Kylo’s forehead. “But I did. Even naughty creatures like yourself need to be taken care of.”

**Author's Note:**

>   
> [Come hang out with me on Tumblr!](http://www.prozacplease.tumblr.com)
> 
> ♥ Comments are always appreciated. ♥


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